


A day at the beach

by mysteriousdreaming



Series: Symmrat Week [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Dark, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 21:53:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9291155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysteriousdreaming/pseuds/mysteriousdreaming
Summary: Jamison reflects on his life with Symmetra while on the beach. Symmrat Week day 3 Fluff/Angst





	

Hot sand stuck to his legs, and the gibraltar summer sun beat warmly down on his face as Junkrat sat on the beach; he was sipping an iced tea and looking out over the waves to where Symmetra was swimming, her sleek hair plastered back from her face in a large black mass. The tea was sweet and fruity, just the way he liked it, and every now and again a small tapioca ball would make its way up the straw and into his mouth. He chewed one thoughtfully with a stupid smile plastered on his face. He still couldn't believe that such an intelligent, talented and beautiful woman existed never mind that, as of a few weeks ago, that woman was his wife.

 

When the two of them first began to work together he thought they were like chalk and cheese, but over time they began to understand each other. Despite their differences they had an awful lot in common. They both loved building and creating, they both loved extremely sweet and spicy food and they both loved having long walks on the beach.

 

The first thing was obvious really. They were both creative in their own ways, different and unique in the way they used their craft and talents. At first they had some sort of unsaid rively between them about whose technology and inventions were better: her sleek and complex designs crafted with delicate precision and planning, or his simple yet effective contraptions made of only scrap and odd parts. It even led to arguments and some nasty words exchanged between the two of them during missions. He thought Symmetra was a stuck up ass just for the sake of it. Thinking she was better than everyone else. He thought her obsession with order and cleanliness was just to piss him off or make fun of his messy work area and appearance. Apparently Torbjorn had enough of the constant bickering and underhanded comments distracting him from his own work and he ended up getting Winston to give the two of them a project to work on together in an attempt at team bonding. It ended up working brilliantly, and the result was a beautiful mix of hard light and ‘junk’ that actually managed to be extremely helpful on the next mission. By the end of it the two considered each other a friend, or at least a close college. After a while he’d found out that Metra’s actions in the first few weeks weren’t just to piss him off, it was just how she was. She didn't like to be unnecessarily touched, loud noises made her uncomfortable and she needed the structured life Vishkar (and later overwatch) gave her. In short the way he acted, sometimes even on purpose, had managed to make her very, very, uncomfortable. When Lena explained this to him he felt like a real jerk. After that he tried to make an effort not to make her feel that way. Of course it was quite hard, he couldn't just stop making explosives and even with his best efforts sometimes traces of various  substances would end up on her workspace, but she seemed to genuinely appreciate the effort.

 

Their shared love of extremely spicy food was discovered when Hana had the brilliant (but eventually disastrous) idea to have a cooking competition at the base. Anyone who was participating had to make a dish from their home country. Jamison had decided to not participate (bbq was his speciality, but unfortunately most people had eaten it before and he doubted people wanted to try the food he ate in the outback), but Symmetra had decided to give it a try. She often moaned to him about how bland the food here was compared to her home, and wanted to give the rest of the team a ‘proper meal’.

 

Unfortunately she made the mistake of making Junkrat her assistant.

 

Everything was going quite well for a while, he hadn’t set fire to anything (somehow) and the food prep was going to plan. The recipe Symmetra had was surprisingly easy to follow, and probably would have gone off without a hitch if he hand mixed up teaspoons and tablespoons. Even more unfortunately the spice he got confused with was the hottest Symmetra had been able to find in the gibraltar markets. When the meal was served to Reinhardt, who was acting as head judge, it only took a few milliseconds for the old germans face to go bright red and the lanky arsonist could have sworn that he saw steam coming out of the man's ears from the heat. Metra had quickly tasted the curry for herself and while her reaction was nothing like the old crusaders she still seemed surprised at the hotness and gave Junkrat an annoyed glare.  She later cornered him in the kitchen and asked him, rather accusingly, what he had done. He told her he didn't understand what the hell she was going on about, making her thrust a bowl of the delicious smelling food in his face. He took a generous spoonful and felt his mouth set on fire. God was it amazing. He’d had spicy food before, but nothing this hot and this tasty.

 

“I don’t see anything wrong with it?” He huffed, stuffing more of the amazing concoction in his burning mouth until he noticed her looking at him funny “what?”.

 

“It’s not meant to be that hot. The recipe is meant to have a kick, but not a reaction like that.” She sighed, looking disappointed but also curious at how fast he was eating. “Is that not burning your mouth?”

 

“Ye, but it’s good, like an explosion on ma tongue.” He paused, shoving another spoonful in his mouth. “And i don’t know how it’s too spicy, i followed the recipe exactly, 2 heaped helpings of the big teaspoons, just like it said.” As soon as the words left his mouth symmetra put her head in her hands with a small sigh.

 

He laughed fondly at the memory. Later, after apologizing to Reinhart, she explained to him the difference between the different type of spoons while giggling the whole time. She’d called him a fool, but in a light hearted way that made him feel funny inside, and made him promise to check things with her if they cooked together in the future. From then on whenever it was her turn to cook for everyone she made an extra hot variation especially for him.

 

The last love they shared he found out one night after a particularly harrowing mission. Everying thing had gone to shit; people had gotten hurt, civilians and members of the team, and it was the worst failure since the recall first went active. Roady was one of the worst injured on the team and it shook him up more than he expected. The big lug was like his rock, he’d grown more attached than he realised to the old mercenary and the idea that he could genuinely die had made him extremely uncomfortable. In an attempt to feel better he had made his way down the long walk from the rock to the beach to try and get some air and clear his thoughts. Anything just to get away from the depressing atmosphere that clouded the watchpoint.

 

It took him a while to walk down the long and twisting road and when he got to the white sands he was surprised to see Metra was there also. He could still remember the way she looked, dressed in a cool summer dress with her hair tied up and her injured arm in a sling. She’d been thrown against a wall by some dickhead and was lucky to have gotten away with just a broken bone and a few nasty bruises. She was obviously shaken up by the events, just like him. She sat on a wall at the edge of the sand, her knees tucked up to her chin and her eyes looking out somewhere beyond the sea. They ended up sitting and talking well into the night about just about anything, with only each other and the waves for company. He found out a lot about her he never knew, like how cruel Vishkar truly was, and he told her about his old life in the outback. If he had to chose a moment when their relationship went from friends to something more, that would be it. Since then they had slowly become closer, falling in head over heels in love. And after several years of waiting and discussing the idea they finally got married.

 

Symmetra seemed to noticed him looking at her and gave him a smile and wave. He waved back, making a dent in the sand for his cup and placing it down, drawing his knees up to his chest. Their honeymoon was very fun; Hana let them stay in her house on a private island (he still couldn't wrap his head around the life of a movie star), meaning they had their own little world for a week. They were able to do almost whatever they wanted, snorkeling with tropical fish, diving deeper under the sea, sleeping under the stars and a few nights spent cuddling on the sofa having movie marathons of cringey romcoms. Of course, they did other things too, more...strenuous... activities that Hana was probably better off not knowing about. On some of those nights it was a good thing they had the island to themselves. But his favorite part of those evenings wasn't the sex (although that was pretty amazing), it was lying together in bed. His fingers interlocked with hers, his arm around her waist pulling her closer to his chest. Just resting his chin on her head, breathing in the flowery scent of her shampoo, was comforting and calming enough that he was actually able to sleep. They fit together perfectly like a jigsaw puzzle. It just felt right having Symmetra here in his arms. They just belonged together.

 

Seemingly finished with her swim, Metra walked over to where he was sitting and gently lowered herself down beside him. She placed her metal hand over his, interlocking their fingers and laying her head on his shoulder. Her wet hair gave him a tickling sensation on his neck and he couldn't help but smile a little, resting his own head against hers.

 

“Have a nice swim love?”

 

She nodded, stretching out her legs. “It was, i wish you could swim though so I could have a partner. I’m sure you would enjoy it.”

 

The very thought of being hopeless in the the vast blue made him shudder and he shook his head. With the waves crashing around him and the possibility of getting dragged away by the tide. “Not really my cup of tea.”

 

“I could always teach you? It may be fun.” She smirked, running a hand down his chest with a mischievous grin, making him laugh.

 

“With that attitude I doubt we’d get much teaching done.”

 

“Are you complaining?”

 

Junkrat smirked “Not exactly.” he kicked his legs out and lay down, the sand on his back cool and damp. “Don’t think swimming would be very useful. If I’m ever in trouble in water I’d just sink like a stone cause of these bad boys” he tapped his peg leg against the sand and Symmetra frowned.

 

“You never know when it could help. But I can’t force you learn.”

 

“And if I ever wanna learn you’ll be the first person I’ll come to.”

 

His response seemed to satisfy her and she lay down too, her head resting on his chest and her hand placed just over his heart. He ran one hand through her soft hair while the other grabbed his drink, listening the the sounds of the waves eagerly lapping the shore and birds flying overhead. Despite it being the middle of the summer and tourist season the part of the beach they were on was surprisingly quiet and private. It was very pleasant and relaxing.

 

“It’s very peaceful here, isn't it?” Symm mumbled, her eyes were closed but a smile was still pushing at the corners of her mouth.

 

“Stupid tourists must have taken a day off.”

 

That made her laugh. It was a pleasant sound that made him feel warm and fuzzy, especially when he knew that her laughing was his doing “You don’t seem to mind tourists when you have several tea shops to chose from.” before he could react she sat up and plucked the plastic cup from his prosthetic with a giggle, wiggling it just out of his reach “Especially when they sell your precious boba tea.”

 

“Hey! Give it back!” he joined her laughing, trying to reach for the cup but failing while a mischievous grin remained on Symmetra’s face. She just stuck her tongue out at him mockingly.

 

“Make me.”

 

He sighed, sitting up and softly kissing her while running a thumb gently over her cheek. Her lips were soft and smooth. Whenever he kissed her, ever since the first time, he found it hard not to lose himself to her. He used the distraction to steal his tea back out of her hand and lay back down with a smirk. “Happy?”

 

“Very.” She sighed, lying back down cuddling up against him again “Although I should have held on a little tighter.”

 

He just wanted to stay like this forever; Warm, peaceful and with his beautiful wife curled up beside him. He looked up at the sky, the vast pale blue clear of any clouds, and closed his eyes.

 

“Jamison”

 

He wearily cracked open one eye, looking up at the at the angry black sky above him that was pelting him with lashings of rain. He let out a groan, closing his eye again.

 

“Jamison!” it was the same voice again, more forceful now. He turned his head in the general direction of the voice before choosing to ignore it again. Once more he closed his eyes, hoping, _begging_ that when he opened them he would be back at the beach. Sand in his hair and arms wrapped around her.

 

It was pointless really, he wasn't going to get it back now. The gears in his mind hand begun to wake up and he was becoming more and more aware of the feeling of wet hair slapped against his neck and the feeling of soaked shorts clinging to his thighs. The warm mid summer beach was long gone.

 

With a sigh he dug his elbows into the soft gritty dirt around him, using a large amount of the little energy he had to push himself up. With his good hand he rubbed his face, probably smearing mud  everywhere and all though the unshaven stubble that littered his chin. A nearby puddle showed how ragged he looked. His eyes were cold with barely a flicker of life behind them and dark marks marked the space underneath, his hair came down to just above his shoulders in a crazy unkept mass and he couldn't remember the last time he'd shaved.

 

Not that it mattered, he had no real reason to look after himself and he didn't have the energy to do so either. He reached round to rub the back of his neck, feeling the dirt and mud that was plastered down his back and in his hair. He should probably have a shower, he couldn't remember the last time he'd had one of them either. He knew it was gross and disgusting, and God knows what she'd think of him, but the thought of having a shower with the effort it took to get unchanged, turn on the shower and wash himself seemed like a daunting task. And he really wanted to avoid it.

 

God why did everything have to be so difficult now? Even getting out of bed seemed to zap what little energy that he may have gained from somehow sleeping. He just felt dead. Like a walking corpse. He probably smelt like one too. Hell, he'd probably be better off being dead.

 

By now the source of the voice walked over to him. Mercy sat down next to him, not seeming to mind the mud that was getting on her labcoat.after a few seconds of silence she spoke, turning to him “Penny for your thoughts?”

 

Junkrat sighed, rubbing his hands together. “I need a bath…”

 

“Then why don't you have one?” It was one of those questions that if anyone else had said it he would have known they didn't really want an answer. Even the doctor probably didn't really care about his answer to the question itself, more the fact he was talking at all. It was the kind of question specifically wired to keep him talking. When people first started asking him that kind of question he would deliberately give clipped and short answers, thinking he was clever for getting out of the conversation.

 

Now a days he just gave a straight answer, there was no real point in lying.

 

“It's too much effort. Takes too much energy”

 

Angela sighed, smoothing out her skirt “ Maybe you should try it may he-”

 

“Help?” He cut her off, putting his head in his hands “A fucking bath isn't going to bring her back. It won't help.”

 

She sighed again, playing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It might.”

 

He knew it wouldn't, having a shower was one of the first things he did after the incident. It was an attempt to try and was away the scene plastered in his mind. Burned there with no way of being scrubbed away. The large talon bastard who came out of nowhere while they were all off guard, lifting her up by the neck of her dress while she was trying to set up defenses. The way he flung her off the cliff like she was a worthless ragdoll. The way her screams pierced his ears as she fell. The fact he was helpless to do anything.  The crack he was sure he heard when she hit the jagged rocks below.

 

The way the hot and sticky remains of the large talon member felt on his skin.

 

It was the most savage, reckless and murderous he had felt since he left the out back. Roady had to pull him away from butchering even more what was, at that point, a mangled piece of unidentifiable flesh.

 

So a shower hasn't helped last time.

 

He seemed to handle her death well at first, went to her funeral and everything. It was...nice, she would have liked it. Not a thing was out of place or slightly the wrong colour shade, he made sure of it. He hadn't been that clean since their wedding either, there wasn't a single speck of dirt on him. He said the right things to people who asked him if he was ok. That was something he didn't understand. People with kind faces asking him if he felt ok as if the answer wasn't fucking obvious. It was done of those expressions Symm had taught him about, like 'how was your day?’ or 'did you have a nice weekend’, people didn't really want an answer they were just being polite or trying to make themselves look good.

 

So he just smiled and lied too.

 

In all honesty he did feel 'fine’ at the start. The way he expect to feel anyway after something like that anyway. Just numb. He thought after a while the feeling would fade, that slowly he'd be able to function again, but it hadn't.

 

The days had stretched into weeks, and the weeks bled into months. He even lost most of the passion he had for his bombs. Making them now was just mechanical, robotic. Just make more stock for more missions, not because you want to. He'd given up on painting smiley faces on them too, there really wasn't any point and it just wasted time, it wasn't like anyone saw them before they died.

 

That was probably what tipped Hog off that something wasn't quite right.The faces had always been his trademark, his own personal touch to each invention, and losing that seemed to show how lost he was. it didnt take him long to tell the doctor and Hana his concerns, leading to him being on some sort of lock down.

 

The two sat in silence a while before Mercy spoke again “What were you doing out here?”

 

This time he didn’t turn to look at her, his eyes instead focused on a point in the distance.“Remembering a couple of years back with Symm. We were on the beach, few weeks after we got married…” He let his words trail off. God, why did it still fucking hurt to talk about her. _Remembering_. That’s all he had left now. How long till those memories faded like the ones he had of his childhood, battered and fuzzy. He didn’t want to lose them too, the thoughts and reflections on the life they had together.  He faced the doctor “Why’d ya come looking for me?”

 

“I was worried.” She smiled sadly. It wasn’t like she didn't have reason to be. The scars and burns in various stages of healing the littered his hand and the ugly greenish-yellow bruise around his neck proved that quite well. While the horrible bruise was from a night of wisky and being left alone with his thoughts, the scars on his hand weren't necessarily intentional. He’d just become more careless around his bombs and it was a surprise he still had all five fingers. It all related back to feeling like a dead man walking he supposed, not giving a fuck about dying meant he wasn't as careful to avoid it. He stood too close to bombs, ran into fights he could have avoided and seemed to come out of most scrapes a lot worse than he use to. He’d seen people act like this back at Junktown after losing friends or partners or kids. At the time he found it pathetic, everyone had lost something in the initial explosion so why was this any different? But now? When he was in that position? He understood. It was that hope of being with them again.

 

He could have been happy, he had that chance. After years of horror and pain and suffering he was finally _happy._

 

And it was all gone, ripped away in an instant.

 

He put his head in his hands, feeling tears running down his cheeks and carving paths in the muck on his face. Mercy careful pulled him close to her in a motherly embrace, smoothing a hand down his back as he cried into her chest. With her head resting on top of his she let him cry for a few minuets before speaking up.

 

“Do you remember when Satya and Hana had that silly argument? The one about Hana’s gaming space?”

 

Jamison nodded, the faintest smile pulling at his cheeks as his mind worked to recreate the moment in his head “The one where Symm broke into her room to get revenge?”

 

Mercy laughed “Yes. She color coordinated her entire room and ordered her controllers by model.”

 

“Don’t forget that she got every single game Hana had and placed them on the floor alphabetically. Took the poor girl hours to clean up, and Metra won in the end, Hana cleaned her room” A small laugh escape him at the memory of the korean girl’s face when she first walked in and saw the organised mess. It was a strange sound, slightly strangled due to his crying, but it was a laugh nonetheless. The fact the Symm managed to create so much chaos by taking order to the extreme still fascinated him even now. Everything about her fascinated him, and even now she was gone he still had so many questions. 

He looked back in the puddle again, the scraggly broken man looking back at him making his small smile disappear “Fucking hell Angela...She’d be so disappointed in me…I’m a mess.”

 

The doctor shook her head in dissagreement, “I don’t think she would be. You’ve been thought a lot, and she’d be proud you were still here and coping.”

 

“Coping? I wouldn’t call this coping.”

 

“Well, i would. Considering you've refused any medical intervention you've been doing very well.” She gave him a comforting squeeze “ I’m proud of you Jamison. So is Roadhog, and Hana. All of us are.”

 

Her words made him well up again, but in a different way. He lost symmetra, the love of his life, but he still had his family. And they had his back no matter what. He turned around and gave the doctor a proper hug, his muddy hands marking the back of her coat. She seemed taken back for a second but quickly returned the gesture warmly.

 

“Can- Can you help me get better?”

 

She gave him a soft smile, her hand resting on his shoulder, “ Of course I can. I'd be more than happy to help”

 

He had to do it. Not just because it was what she would have wanted, but because it's what his family wanted.

 

It was what he wanted.

 

He’d always have Symmetra with him, in his heart and in his memories were it mattered most. He'd always want to make her proud, and do what she would have wanted him to do, an he was going to try so hard to make sure that happened. He wasn't going to disappoint her any more.

  
And when times got tough, he’d always have that day on the beach.

**Author's Note:**

> If you weren't expecting angst from me this week, i don't know what to tell you ;)


End file.
